In 2010, Debbie Ford, with the help of Deepak Chopra and Marianne Williamson, published a book entitled The Shadow Effect. In this book, Debbie claims that we all have a dark side, or what she refers to as a shadow.
Our shadow, she explains, contains all the parts of ourselves that we have tried to hide or deny. It is the parts of ourselves that we believe to be unacceptable, both to ourselves and to others.
It is comprised of everything that we struggle to accept about other people and ourselves. It is our bad habits, our dark and lonely secrets. It is the things that we have done, and the things that have been done to us that we keep buried deep within ourselves. Most simply stated, our shadow is the person within ourselves that we would rather not be.
Because of the shame and guilt associated with this part of ourselves, our shadows have the potential to wield enormous power over our lives. If we let it, it will determine what we can and cannot do, what we are drawn toward and what we avoid. It dictates our attachments, our fears, and our feelings about ourselves. It influences how we treat ourselves and others, the way that we love, and our ability to be vulnerable and authentic. Quite simply, our shadows have the power to affect every ounce of our being, if we allow it to. Particularly when we try to keep in the dark.
On the contrary, though, this shadowy part of ourselves also has the power to transform our lives for the better. For when our shadow has been seen, heard, and embraced, it may be our greatest teacher, our trainer and guide, leading us to incredible strength, creativity, brilliance, purpose, and happiness. It is when we are able to shine light on our shadow that we are able to see that our shadow also contains some of our greatest gifts and treasured aspects of our truest selves buried inside. Rather than focusing on the ugliness of our shadow, we instead see it as a source of compassion, love, and authenticity. We no longer invest our precious energies into denying aspects of who we are, nor do we have to pretend to be someone we are not. We are no longer concerned with proving ourselves to others and we release the guilt, shame, and fear associated with this vulnerable part of ourselves.
As we further explore our shadows and make peace with it, we realize that it is not what we once thought it was. It is not a problem to be solved, an enemy to be conquered, or something that we must fear or hide. Rather, it is simply a part of who we are and where we have been, and in embracing it, we become free to experience our entire self.